Stylist Trish isn’t just a force behind the makeup brush for brides at Babydoll Weddings, she is also a bride to be herself! This week, she shares some tips for the top 10 challenges brides face while planning their wedding that she has learned on her journey to the alter.
#1 “The member of the family or future family that is the control freak”
As a bride you feel pressured to accommodate both sides of the family and become the mediator. But you really don’t have to be. The best way to handle this situation is to ask their opinion first and truthfully consider it. If their concern is to dictate what you wear and how you look, you could instead set up a reveal picture. This is when the photographer will snap a picture of the first time the family member will see the bride for the first time when she is dressed and all made up. It brings a certain sentiment to to occasion that they will be thrilled over, and keeps them away while you are getting ready and enjoying your day.
#2 “The person who is paying for the wedding refuses to discuss the budget with the bride or the groom.”
Money has been the one topic that is completely taboo for most people, the best way to get around this is to talk/ email the vendors about what it is you want and let them know the budget is unknown. You need to tell them what you want in the ideal situation and what you can live with. For example with the florist ,if you ideally want every bridesmaid to have a lovely cascading bouquet with 10 different flowers, but in reality you would be okay with them just having a small bouquet with only one type of flower. Almost every vendor out there will appreciate your honesty and give you 2 different quotes. One with your ideal situation, and one with the lower budget option. Also include a way for the vendor to contact the person in charge of the budget, that way you will already have decided what you want but still having flexibility. If all else fails give them a portion of different vendors who may give them a better deal. WeddingWire is a website that will put prices in perspective. Sometimes all it takes is realizing the actual cost of vendors to realize when you’re getting a good deal.
#3 “Paying homage to family that has passed away”
This is the most emotionally demanding out of all the problems. I am a bride that lost her father only 2 years ago and “walking down the aisle” is going to be the most difficult thing in the world, knowing he won’t be there with me. With that being said, whatever family member that you were close to will ALWAYS be with you in spirit, but if you want them to be closer you can always attach a picture of them to you bouquet or reserve a seat for them occupied by a picture. This way you will be able to see them as you commit your love and the rest of your life to your soul mate, it’s also a way you can feel as you are truly joining two family’s together.
#4 “Who to invite while picking out your dress”
I never knew until I picked out my dress, how many people wanted to be there until it happened. As the bride you should be able to invite whoever you want, but keep the crowd small. Too many opinions can get confusing very quickly. Also, surprisingly there are a lot of traditional parents out there that feel that the mother of the bride, specifically, should be the only one person there while you find your dream wedding gown. Most brides dream of having their mother, their bridesmaid’s, and the mother of the groom there for this special time. However, they will end up having a massive amount of hurt feelings if there is anyone there but their mother. The best way to compromise is consequently something most bridal consultants find endearing. You could take only your mother and hand your camera phone to the bridal consultant and Skype/ send out a mass text to everyone you want to be there with the pictures of the different dresses. Technology is your friend and it will allow you to be close with the ones you hold dearest and you can get their input in real time.
#5 “The extreme pressure placed on you to finding the perfect dress.”
This one I tricky only if you let it be. Some brides may have a themed wedding and they feel the need to find the perfect dress to fit the theme. The secret is (drum roll please…) find something that makes you happy! Any dress can fit any theme if you feel amazing in it! When you have your grand entrance walking down the aisle people always know that you will look beautiful, how most people see beauty is how happy you look. The last thing you want is to do is feel like you’re putting on a costume and playing a character when it’s the most real moment of your life.
#6 “Selecting the wedding party.”
So many brides have the fear of having to choose between having a lop-sided wedding party and alienating some of their best friends. The best way to handle this situation is to realize that your real friends will always be there for you. If you are worried that a friend will be upset that they are not selected for a bridesmaid or a groomsman, just make sure they are sitting at the same table as some of their other friends. You can always alert your maid of honor/ best man to ask them to help plan special events, such as; the bachelorette/ bachelor party as well.
#7 “Indecision of bridesmaids”
This one is actually simple. As the bride you have a lot to worry about; the cake, the timeline, the colors, the vendors, your attire, the honeymoon, your hair, your make up, and everything else about the wedding! The last thing you should worry about is your bridesmaids. The best way to deal with this is to delegate different decisions to them. Divide up what makeup and hairstyle they will have, what accessories they will wear, what kind of shoes, etc. to different members of the bridal party that you trust and that forces them to be more attentive to these details in your wedding.
Most engaged couples get worried about having an outside wedding and that day ending up in a dust storm or having it rain. Talking to the venue can be your best friend, most venues will have back up plans for these events. Whether this means large tents or even having an indoor location you can use in case of bad weather. The weather will do what it wants and there is truthfully no control over what will happen, don’t let that ruin your wedding. There is always a way to make your day perfect. Most cultures believe that if it does rain on your wedding day it’s a sign of good luck.
#9 “The Groom and his ideas”
You have finally fund the love of your life, he pledged his love and devotion to you the moment he gave you your engagement ring and you get to plan your wedding! It is absolutely surprising how many opinions he will about the most obscure topics. What will you think he won’t care about he will and what you think will be important to him he will look like a deer in headlights. One day you will be discussing cake and he will express his opinions over pink vs. magenta and he will feel VERY strongly about it. With all the decisions you will be making, it is best to keep your groom up to date on the different things that have already been decided. You have to remember it’s his big day too! He may surprise you with some valuable insight and remember, he is your greatest ally in all the planning! His strong opinions are only a reflection of how much he cares about you and how much he cares about making this day every bit as special as you both dreamed it would be.
This may not apply to everyone, but as the offbeat bride sees it, the typical wedding formula is:
Bride + Groom + Colors + Traditional Ceremony + Flowers = Wedding!
This is a fail-proof way to make any wedding amazing, however some brides and grooms want a wedding that will be truly theirs. For instance, a video game theme wedding. Most parents and friends have no idea what to do with a unique wedding theme, however any self-consciousness you may feel, don’t worry about it. Things that will be important to you and your groom will all of a sudden become super important to everyone involved in wedding planning. My wedding is a gamer theme wedding and I found mother-in-law and my mother having this intense discussion on the complexities of World of Warcraft vs. the traditional values of chess. Since it is different EVERY vendor is super excited to break away from the traditional wedding formula. Even as a hair stylist, it is super exciting to have an outlet to be creative in a traditional setting. You will be surprised how many people will talk about and be genuinely excited for your gamer, Wizard of Oz, Gothic, Lord of the Rings, Rock and Roll, or 1920’s themed wedding! Don’t be worried for a second what other people will think. It breaks up the monotony and gives guests something fun and exciting to look forward to! Want more offbeat inspiration? Check out Offbeat Bride.
Thanks for the amazing tips Trish! Do you have any tips you picked up while planning your special day that you want to spread? Please share them with us below in the comments!